What is HELP FIDO?

Humane Education Leads to Progress
For Informed Dog Owners

Vision Statement: We envision a society free from discrimination, where responsibility, education, love and compassion allow humans to fully respect and understand man's best friend.

Saturday, February 21, 2009


(written by Amanda Spires, who is currently without internet access)
It's the middle of February and I'm spending a few days in sunny, warm Phoenix, AZ.
It's 75 degrees and sunny every day here. Home is Columbus, OH. It was most likely well below freezing there today and snow appeared to be unavoidable.
Yuck, right? Well, I can't wait to get back to the cold--apparently it's keeping people more honest than the tan yokels.
I'm on day number 3 of a 4 day trip and am happier than you can imagine that tomorrow I get to board a plane, lose 2 hours and drop about 50 degrees.
Why would someone be so bass-ackwards you ask? It's a dog thing. I, of course, miss my three four-legged spazzes. But that's not quite it.

You see, I have been informed tonight by blood relatives that my dogs are dangerous . . . aggressive . . .not to be trusted. In a word: bad. Oh, and by the way, they have never met any of the three dogs.
Some reputation, huh? They happen to be such unfortunate creatures that they picked the wrong parents. Dummies. Furthermore, my oldest dog was so stupid that he managed to get himself chained outdoors for an unknown period of time and then shelved in a shelter for 15 months (10 of which were spent as an "invisible" dog with no out of kennel privileges or visits from volunteers). *sigh* It's 1 AM here, but sleep is impossible. I guess I like to live dangerously. The silver lining here is that there was also a blood relative on "my" side.
She's met my dogs, stayed at my house and tried to help plead my case. This was to no avail. People think a small child is vulnerable to a naughty dog?
Try a frail (though feisty) woman whose skin falls off if you look at it the wrong way. She sat on a bed changing the bandages that cover the majority of her body (a daily routine for her) while 65 pounds of unidentifiable ghetto pit bull/American Bulldog/who knows/? mutt lay calmly and patiently to get his neck scratched by the kind and patient visitor.
Thank Dog for Godmothers.


Caveat said...

That is one mean-looking mutt. When is he due to snap? Has he got enough chemical buildup in his brain for that yet? Do you have a key for the locking jaws or is it a combination? If he's a bull, where are his horns? If I wave a red cape, will he charge it? Does he eat grass? Can he fly? I heard bulldogs can fly. So, he can't feel pain, eh? If I pinch his tail, will he feel it? How about if I pull his ears or tweak his nose? I heard bully mutts were so strong that they can pull like ten zillion pounds. They use them to move boulders when there are rockslides. Their heads are hard you know - bullets bounce right off 'em. And they are related to sharks, and...

Lisa said...

Those are all good but my all time favorite comes from this lunatic "rescuer" in one of our local cities.... Even after death their jaws won't unlock, we had to call the fire department to use the jaws of life to get this dead pit to release this man's arm.

Well heck, I have another favorite too, from another nut in that same city....I was in my car, in the middle of the street, and that vicious pit bull started attacking my tires. It shook my car all over the street.

Caveat said...

Yeah, those are believable....sigh...

These are the dogs of HELP FIDO...our dogs...this is why we are here...